A Solution to Our “Canada Geese” Problem!

Cageese1One of the sure signs that Spring is upon us is the same message from the local TV channels that we get every year about this time. We have a Canada Goose problem! It’s not that we have too few, we’ve got too many!

They’re everywhere! On the streets, in the parks, ponds, lakes, you name it! Canada Geese should be renamed Colorado Geese or better yet, Denver Geese, because they’ve been here for so long, they’ve completely forgotten where they came from and why not? Denver’s a wonderful city. The climate is nice! The people are fantastic! The food is good and we’ve got great grass! The ambiance is great, plenty of recreation with golf and parklike settings for dining, nesting and pooping etc.

For years, I’ve listened to, and witnessed every remediation solution imaginable from our community and unfortunately, we’ve been able to come up with little or no success at all. Not only to get these pests out of our parks, lakes and neighborhoods, it’s just to get them the hell out of the way period! A few is OK, in fact, they’re kind of nice, but now, it’s a long way beyond nice! It’s a Royal Canadian pain in the “you know what!”

It’s obvious that none of the “bird control” solutions we’ve tried has worked. We’ve tried noise and they just joined in! We’ve tried robots and the geese run circles around them. Dogs are OK but the geese just take off and land a few yards down the street and the dogs get tired. The city has spent thousands of dollars on solutions with little or no luck so I’m going to throw my hat in the ring to solve this problem and a few more at the same time.canada-goose

Not only do we have a Canada Goose problem but like every other large city, we also have a “homeless person” problem. So, after a little thought I’ve come up with a way that one just might be able to solve the other.

It’s called Bar-Ba-Goose!

Just as they do in South Louisiana with the Alligator population, the city of Denver could offer “tags” for the kill or capture of Canada Geese. They would offer a hundred or so of these tags to each homeless person with the proviso that you have to cook and make use of what you kill so nothing gets wasted. Take the money you were going to spend on pest (goose) control and pay it out to the homeless so that each catch nets them a few bucks every time they bring one in. Now, the homeless folks have a job! Bird pest control is eliminated, and the residents can have their parks back! Also, if the homeless folks pick up the doo doo and bag it, they can sell that back to the city as natures fertilizer so that plants will grow and the parks and public golf courses are doo doo free again!

Soon, every night at dinner time, the neighborhoods would be filled with the wonderful aroma of Bar-Ba-Goose! That smell would be BBQ1coming from every soup kitchen and on every street corner in town! Rather than folks on the corner with little signs asking for money, there’d be folks on every corner with little signs offering ‘Bar-Ba-Goose’ wings .50 cents etc! Drumsticks would be $2.50 and so on. For the extra thrifty, you might have Goosenecks .25 cents ea! Remember, these are free range BRE’s (birds ready to eat!) No GMO’s and No added preservatives, quality  A-#1!

Bar-Ba-Goose would be everywhere! On top of that, we could turn the soup kitchens into clothing factories, pluck the feathers off those birds and now that it’s legal to grow hemp again, make wonderful ski jackets and recreation wear direct from Colorado, the World Capitol of Outdoor Recreation! Made from hemp cloth and stuffed with goose down! The possibilities are endless! Remember folks, you heard it hPicture1ere first!

Think about it! You’re eliminating joblessness, feeding the homeless, cleaning up the parks and getting rid of the geese problem all at the same time! Best of all, it didn’t cost the taxpayers a dime! You got your parks back, you fed the homeless, created an industry and eliminated a problem! Now all you need is some politician barging in to tell you what is wrong with this idea and how your government stands ready to improve on it!

Yeah… right!

Send me your critiques and comments. I’ll read them all and use them when I can.

Have a great week everybody!

Rod

 

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Yep, They Sure Did!!

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Most of you who have read this blog for any time at all, know that I am not a big fan of politicians and the way voter turnouts are falling off, I believe I’m not alone. Indeed for a long time, I have wondered out loud why, in 2015, with all the technology we have at our fingertips, can’t we eliminate these clowns and all the brain waste that shows up on our TV screens every day?

To me, sending someone to Washington DC to represent me is kind of like putting roller skates on an airplane. We don’t need it, and could probably do much better without it! A perfect example of how unnecessary these people are, is what the world got treated to just this week!

Not in a long time have we ever seen anything as dumb, adolescent and unnecessary as the recent performance by congress. That happened when we woke to find that one particular individual and 47 co-signers sent a letter to the leader of Iran, (Sorry, I don’t know his title) just to let him know how the rubber meets the road if Iran signs onto any agreements with the USA and President Barack Obama.

The list of objections I could come up with here would fill this page and quite a few more, but I have to say a few private “Thank You’s,” to the Iranian leader who laughed it off, and gave the letter the kind ofcongresscartoon attention it deserves by dumping it in file thirteen! Not that Iran and Israel don’t have a problem, they definitely do, but that problem is not going to be solved by a bunch of “not ready for prime time” politicians jumping into something way over their heads and demanding a seat at the negotiating table!

I believe that most families spend a high percentage of their time trying to instill a sense of fairness, honesty and respect for others in their children. This week’s performance by members of the congress resembled a bunch of spoiled first graders who didn’t get the message!

Our congressional non-performance began with Boehner’s sneaking around behind the paulcruzrubioPresident’s back to invite Netanyahu here to fire up the congress with one of his “flamethrower” speeches for the war hawk politicians. Bibi was happy to do it, and as an added bonus, he offered his negative opinion on any progress made by the President, the USA, and the other five countries in coalition with us who are turning over every stone searching for a solution to this very touchy situation.

That wasn’t enough! Congress followed that with a letter to Iran’s leader written by a member with barely enough job history to blow his own nose and cosigned by forty seven others. (What the hell were they thinking??) Can you imagine a school teacher trying to explain this in civics class? Can you imagine the lesson we’re teaching schoolkids across America? Also, If you’re wondering who is prompting these Einsteins to usurp the efforts of our President and his friends, do a little digging and find out who the big financial backers are behind each of these guys (and girls if there are any). Bet you’d find some military interests in there somewhere.

So, what’s your solution genius?

Simple… reinstate the draft.

I know this suggestion would never fly but, nothing in this world would send politicians of both sides heading for their holes any faster than a suggestion by the administration that since we’re facing multiple conflicts, a return to the draft is being considered. Since both houses of congress seem to be overly occupied with war hawks these days, a suggestion of a  possible return to the draft would certainly be cause for a reality check and nothing would turn those hawks into doves any quicker! Also, if noises about a possible draft started drifting through the halls of congress, I believe those hawks who hate this President, his skin color, his policies, and anything else to do with his name would either instantly start hiding under their desks or carrying peace signs, whichever came first!

The post script to all this, is that slowly but surely, drip by crawling drip, towns like Ferguson Missouri are finally releasing those from their top echelons who are beginning to feel the hand of justice tightening on their shoulders and realizing their good old gravy train days are about gone. Not one single congressman (or at least any I know of), is making any effort to assist in cleaning up the racism and inequality here at home and other Ferguson’s all across the USA…hell no! They’ve got nasty letters to write and TV cameras to get in front of!

Send me your comments and critiques. I’ll read them all and use them if I can.

Have a great week everybody.

Rod

 

Let Me Tell You A Little Story…

bibiiranApproximately thirteen years ago, a man named Benjamin “Bibi” Netanyahu, the then current Prime Minister of Israel appeared on our shores loaded down with every intention of telling both houses of congress and the Bush administration itself, all about the evils of Saddam Hussein’s WMD program.

His hair was white and he gave a rousing, impassioned speech about this devil incarnate, and  how we must root him out and prevent him from using his WMD arsenal to destroy every freedom loving soul in the free world!

That was 2002. Now we’re up to 2015. His hair is silver gray now, (possibly due to a careful application of Grecian Formula). His enemy has morphed into Iran and Bebe still needs our muscle (as well as a little help getting reelected)! The speech is nearly the same, the fire burns just as bright, and our stellar politicians filled those seats to give him their full attention with little or no memory of the fact that the last time we did this, his words (along with those of Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld etc.) helped us to enter into one of the most misdirected and costly bloodbaths our nation has ever known!

He gave a compelling speech. Then, he spent additional time telling one and all, how his plan would work aHSAnd how President Obama’s plan wouldn’t! Bibi’s a pretty slick salesman, and it’s a good thing he finished when he did because I believe some of those brilliant politicians (Boehner included) actually bought his story and might still be buying it for all I know! In retrospect, President Obama, in his usual calm and measured way, did not disclose his opinion of Bibi’s opinion!

So much for Bibi. On the home front, after a couple of months of blowhard and bluster, the republican party quietly closed up shop and signed on to a “clean” one year Department of Homeland Security financing bill, with no strings attached. TV news anchors were appalled at how quickly the Boehner team folded, and immediately went roaring out with their hair on fire, in search of another “sky is falling” story.

Another calamity averted. Another moment when we narrowly managed to push political silliness aside and actually managed to move our country one step forward so that we could get down to the really important questions that have everyone on the edge of their seats like, “What did Hillary do with those pesky emails?”

Something completely different I feel is worth mentioning this week is that the Denver Musicians Association Local 20-623 is putting forth an effort from the MPTF (Musicians Performance Trust Fund) to have solo performers go out into specified neighborhoods and entertain or simply perform music for those who can least afford it.

Obviously, this sounds like a lot of personal horn tooting, but before we make too much of the the idea that someone is actually trying to improve things and brighten the day of those less fortunate with a little musical entertainment, you also have to ask the question, “if not us, then who?”I believe that’s exactly what the Denver Musicians Association did. They put their money where their mouth is, and they’re undertaking a program of lifting up those who are having a tough time and can’t afford it as well as those who can. Who said compassion is dead?

This week is also the 50 year anniversary of Martin Luther King leading a group of civil rights activists on the “Bloody Sunday” march across the Edmund Pettus bridge in Selma Alabama. Do we need any reminders of how that turned out? It is also the same week the Justice Department looks into the police shooting of a high school kid named Michael Brown in Ferguson Missouri. They did this obviously, to ascertain if his civil rights were violated and what seems totally strange to me, it feels like it’s almost as if his death is God himself reaching out and offering us a sign to indicate just how far we really haven’t come!

If you expand on that premise a little, then the orchestrated TV performance following the committee’s findings by the mayor of Ferguson, and the tepid whitewash of the facts that he gave, are simply an indicator of how far we have yet to go in order to make this the equal society and land of milk and honey that we spend so much time trying to convince ourselves it is!

Send me your comments and critiques. I’ll read them all and use them if I can.

Have a great week everybody.

Rod

It’s not too late to say “I told you so!”

streetbrawl2As things usually go in Washington DC, this week hasn’t been much different than all the rest. It’s not that the Republicans wont speak to the Democrats, now, they aren’t speaking to each other! Two of todays’s most important politicians, Boehner and McConnell reportedly aren’t speaking and I have no idea how you’re supposedly going to make the wheels turn when two of your top guys have nothing to say to each other! Does “D” stand for Dumbass or Deja Vous or Dysfunctional or Defective or What? Hey guys, we’ve got better than 300 million folks in the biggest, baddest, meanest country on earth here, and someone better get a handle on how to run it, or some guy with an AR-15 and a towel over his head is more than ready to step in and take over!

Last year at this time, all we heard was these same two geniuses bitching to anyone who would listen, about those horrible Democrats and how awful it was, that upstanding, stalwart Republicans had to shimages2are duties with them and because of their horrible policies and proposals, the Republicans had to shut the Government down! Well, they did and we got past that, now, surprise surprise, we find that the two biggest dogs in the fight, Boehner and McConnell, are no longer speaking to each other. Our country is teetering on the edge of being minus a Department of Homeland Security and the snappy tie guys are at it again!

If these guys were as eager to sign a very necessary bill like DHS as they are to pass a very unnecessary bill like Keystone Pipeline, we’d already be out of the woods right? Problem is, there’s no fat checks rolling in on DHS like there was on Keystone so DHS will be attended to as soon as these clowns get damn good and ready! To hell with the fact that they’re putting our whole country on the slippery slope, they’ve got important things to do like showboating for the TV cameras!

IMG_0697Time to get things back on a more positive plane.

As everyone who reads this blog knows, one of my favorite items to write about as a replacement for fossil fuels is Hemp. Also, a couple of weeks ago I wrote about some Canadian guys I stumbled upon who are manufacturing music instruments from this versatile plant. The company is called “Canadian Hemp Guitars” and their web site is http://www.canadianhempguitars.com. If you go there, they’ve got some videos of these instruments in action and what I heard sounded pretty damn good to me! This is simply a couple of artistically inclined Canadians who decided to defy convention and manufacture something to make great music on. They’re going to make that happen, and they’re not going to chop down the woods to do it!

Not only do these instruments sound great, just like the early Martin Guitars, that bore the crystal clear sounds that only mountain music makes, they have a really basic, “no frills” “natural” look as well! As a guitarist who isn’t too much into a lot of fancy bells and whistles either, that’s quite appealing to me. These are “working man’s” instruments and what’s even more gratifying isIMG_0918 knowing that these two guys from Hemmingford Quebec, are “making a joyful noise” doing this thing all on their own from the ground up using a product that was falsely outlawed for many years through the efforts of guys like Harry Anslinger and his big industry buddies. I wont expound on their politics here because that’s in the past, and Hemp has once again, achieved “legal to grow” status in Canada.  One of the partners at CHG even told me that one of the major Canadian car manufacturers is now using Hemp in the interior manufacture of their cars as well! Just like Henry Ford wanted it! You can go on their web site and give them a listen. Then, dream of the days when we will be able to enjoy that same type of pollution free industry right here in our own back yards because it is now legal to grow hemp in Colorado as well!

Colorado industrial hemp farming is now legal because of Amendment 64 and the legalization of medical and recreational marijuana in 2013. Although the version of “hemp” that is used in industry contains almost no THC, it still has this classification because it is a member of the cannabis family. It will have that designation until we get some politicians in office who are actually bright enough to write laws that make sense and separate one version of the plant from the other. That may take a while!

Send me your comments and critiques. I promise to read them all and use them if I can.

Have a great week everybody,

Rod