Sex Lies and Politics…Strange Bedfellows?

sexandpol1As we draw closer to the upcoming mid-term elections, we are all forced to take a little private time to look more closely at the candidates to see who might end up making the “cut” this year and who we might end up tossing in the proverbial recycle bin. One thing is for sure, most candidates are like you and me, no more, no less. Their lives, (with the exception of the lady who wants to castrate somebody), after a little tweaking here and there, are pretty much just like ours. Within limits we fill them with all the usual stuff, the quest for power, sex, money, drugs, and maybe if you happen to be musically inclined, rock and roll. It’s the kind of fabric our American quilt is made of, and without it, the TV preachers wouldn’t have anything to talk about on Sunday morning!

Of all the personal aphrodisiacs, I believe power has to come in at number one. With power comes everything else, and whether sex is your motivator or not (it wasn’t Richard Nixon’s) power and the advantages that power brings, are probably tops on most politicians’ lists. The big money handlers who spend millions of dollars know this as well, and so they have no trouble getting the checkbook out when time to buy a candidate comes along. The bottom line in all this is that just like prostitutes, most politicians have a price. Finding out what that is, simply takes a little time and negotiation.

sexandpol2With money and power, do you believe that a magnet like sex can be far behind? Not usually! It’s been the same since Fanny Foxe went skinny dipping in the Tidal Basin with Wilbur Mills back in the seventies and it’s the same today. Mark Sanford, Eliot Spitzer, John Edwards, Bill Clinton, the Kennedy’s, Scott Vitter, Gary Hart, Anthony Weiner, and let’s not forget the kissing congressman! I’m sure I’m leaving out a lot more but my memory can only hold so much! Scott Brown posing naked for Cosmo doesn’t doesn’t do much for me but he probably gave some ladies a little thrill! The political list goes on and on, as does the list of ladies who like to hang around with these guys and the more it changes, the more it stays the same!

Topping off the list of politicians with large libidos would have to be the Kennedy brothers. No where else but in US history has a lady ever been known to have dated the President of the USA and the head of the Mafia at the same time! There we were, with the peace of the free world hanging by a thread and two of the most powerful men in our country were competing for the affections of the same lady! I’m sure there’s a country song in there somewhere!

So…OK genius…if you’re so smart, what’s your solution to this problem?
Simple. One word…SENIORS!!
It was not our senior population who took…
the melody out of songs and put in rap,
the pride out of the way you dress and hung your pants off your kneecaps,
the courtesy out of driving and turned it into a demolition derby,
the romance out of love and turned it into a swap meet,
the responsibility out of parenting and left too many kids homeless,
the learning out of education so you wouldn’t have to study
Do you think the kissing congressman would have been caught putting a lip lock on someone old enough to be his Grandmother? Do you think Mark Sandford would have skeedaddled up the Appalachian trail to fly off to a rendesvous with an 85 year old on a walker? Do you think any of those twits on the Supreme Court are going to argue with your Grandma when it comes to taking the facts out of text books, re-writing history, and re-doing education? Not hardly!
Those are only a small sample of things that we could sweep up and clean up if we put SENIORS in charge of politics! Remember… you heard it here first folks! ALL AROUND SENIORS AT YOUR SERVICE!
Send me your comments and critiques. I’ll be sure to read them all and use them if I can.
Thanks and have a great week everybody!
Rod

 

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Oh…So, You’re Not A Scientist ?!

So…Mr. Politiciapol4n, you come into my living room via my TV set begging for my vote, telling me how horrible all those other guys are, and yet when asked a simple question about global warming, you do your good old political shuffle and say, “well, I’m not a scientist but…!” You’re not a scientist but??…Hey genius, the taxpayers of the USA are paying you a salary of $174,000 per year to come up with a better answer than that!

Really…what you’re telling me is that you’re a lazy assed politician who can’t generate the ambition to look at the evidence, but you want me to vote for you anyway because you’re a better bet than the other guy and besides, it’s my patriotic duty! Mr. Politician, any way you look at it, you’ve just told me you’re not man enough to earn my vote but you are  man enough to bad mouth the guy who has done his homework and is screaming his guts out that we’re burning up the planet and you don’t care! Or, maybe you do care but your big money backers want you to look the other way and maintain the status quo so that’s your chosen path!

I know I’m ranting, but in all the years and all the elections (mid term and otherwise) I’ve been a witness to, according to everything I’ve heard and read, voters on both sides of these midterms have completely tuned the political parties out and in all likelihood, will probably vote for the person they think will damage them the least! To hell with making progress on anything! The best liar left standing is going to win this one! Topping everything off is the non stop torrent of negative advertising coming from the big dollar backers of some of the candidates. I don’t know where they recruit the ladies with those whispery, sinister sounding voices. I just know that if one of them was talking about me, even if I hadn’t done anything, I’d find the nearest Sheriff’s office and turn myself in! If nothing else sickens you on politics, these TV ads should do the job!

Now we come to the topic of partisan politics and the Ebola crisis.pol3

In the early eighties, another socially transmitted disease landed on our shores from South Africa. We called it AIDS. Like Ebola, it was the scourge of our land but unlike Ebola it was known to be spread throughout the gay community by sexual contact. Although it got talked about in the medical community to a great degree and everyone in the medical community was frantically searching for a cure, AIDS didn’t get much of a look from then President Reagan or the political powers because it was thought of as a “gay” disease and unworthy of much political attention. As a matter of fact, until he was pressured to do otherwise, many observers felt that Reagan was much more interested in lecturing the gay community on their lifestyle rather than finding a cure for this medical nightmare.

Somehow we didn’t hear a lot of congressional politicians screaming about that one.

On 8/2/14 congress declared itself on “recess” and hit the exits to begin their reelection campaigns. About the only guy left standing in Washington DC was Barack Obama and he had his hands full trying to come up with an acceptable plan to stop or delay the onslaught of ISIS. (Or ISIL if you prefer.) Other than coming back for about five minutes to sign the “Defense Authorization Act” which allowed the President to perform air strikes in Syria, congress has been gone ever since. Then, even though the President had been sounding the alarm about how we needed to take this Ebola thing seriously, nothing happened until we had a problem in Dallas, TX.

No sooner did we have an Ebola death and some quarantines than an investigation was called for, and congress came roaring back to don their Armani suits and snappy ties for their chance at a little face time on national TV. This way, they could scowl down at the doctors who were the only ones working day and night trying to get a handle on this crisis and properly blame them, the CDC, and President Obama for the way they mishandled the whole thing!

Do you think that when Judy Collins sang “Send in the Clowns,” she had the United States Congress in mind?

Send me your comments and critiques. I’ll be sure to read them all and use them if I can.

Have a great week everybody!

Rod

 

 

 

 

WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT GOOGLE?

A couple of wGoogle3eeks ago, I was entertaining at a Retirement Community and as usual having a little fun with the residents by asking trivia questions. I always preface everything by offering fictitious extra desserts if they guess the right answer and it’s no surprise that some of the resident ladies are pretty sharp. The one that recently caught me off guard was how quickly I got a correct answer to, “who wrote God Bless America?” It was Irving Berlin, and when I asked the lady how she knew the answer so quickly, the young lady sitting beside her said “we asked Google.” Sure enough, she showed me her tecky little cell phone, where you can speak into the Google microphone, ask your question and there on the screen was a picture of the man himself, the song he wrote, and when he wrote it!

To say that I am NOT a technology whiz is putting it mildly, but a few days later I was replacing my old cell phone with one of the newer “touch” models and, once I got it home, I couldn’t wait to see if I had the same bells and whistles as the high tech young lady I’d met the other day. Sure enough, once I fired it up, there was the blue Google icon with the big G in the middle and there was my reference source for a whole library worth of all the stuff I’ll ever need to write about in the future!

Question; How does the US stand in comparison to Germany in power supplied by renewable energy?
Answer; Recently Germany supplied nearly 74% of its midday electrical consumption from renewable energy. It is almost embarrassing to say where the US stands in comparison, (my answer) but suffice it to say that if things continue on this course, it won’t be long before we’ll be cursing the Germans for being able to sell products in our marketplace cheaper than we can make them!

Question; Someone recently asked Willie Nelson how much marijuana he smoked?Willie1
Answer; “As much as I want to!” he replied.

I LOVE WILLIE NELSON!

Question; Do you believe that our societal system is rigged against minorities to the degree that society in general has degraded to the level where police in municipalities have replaced “Serve and Protect” with “Shoot First, Ask Questions Later”?
Answer; If you put an imaginary gun in your hand and imagine you’re pointing it at a person and pull the imaginary trigger 17 times, see how long it takes before a voice inside your head says, “This is ridiculous!” You should have the answer to your question.

Question; If you’re a big time Republican Senator from Kentucky seeking re-election, do you think you should be talking about repealing Obamacare? After all, there are now half a million Kentucky citizens who are happily signed up for that program. They’ve re-named it KYNECT and now they love it! Don’t you believe repeal might be a little risky Senator?
Answer; Only time will tell, but somewhere deep inside the recesses of the White House, a guy named Obama who just happens to be the current president of the USA and the same guy who filled the ultimate inside straight and came up with this thing called Obamacare, is laughing his ass off!

Question; Do you believe that some day in the near future, students wont have to take final tests on college courses because all the answers to any question they could possibly be asked is in this Google reference library they’ll have on a little wrist watch they’re wearing, or some kind of funky looking eye wear they might have on?
Answer; I’m not sure about the questions but I’m real sure Google will have the answers!

Question; Do you believe the Denver Broncos will win the Super Bowl?
Answer; Sorry, Google just blew up!

Please send me your comments and critiques. I’ll be sure to read them all and use them if I can.

Thanks and have a great week everybody!

Rod

 

Holiday Blues? Try Volunteering!

volunteer2For all of those (including me) who are “getting on in years” and occasionally have that feeling that you’ve got the blues and life is somewhat empty, especially approaching holiday season, here’s my two cents worth as far as finding a solution to that problem.

It’s called volunteering! Volunteering you say? That’s right, Volunteering!

It’s no secret that as we grow older and begin to slow down a little, we tend to withdraw from society and social activities to some degree. When we were still in the workplace and going out on the job every day, we probably led fairly active lives and enjoyed the friendship of a good number of people. Somehow, after we retire, that circle grows smaller and we tend to pull back from society a little and become much more content to enjoy the pleasure of our own company! Along with that withdrawal usually comes a more sedentary lifestyle accompanied usually, by a lot more television watching, a lot less physical activity, an empty “nobody loves me” attitude, and quite often a more negative, melancholy, narrow minded frame of mind. Gradually, your world becomes smaller, you go out less and less and find reasons to stay home and stay in more and more. You …are growing old!

If I sound like I’m speaking from personal experience here, it’s only because I am!

It’s not hard to allow yourself to drop into this ever narrowing circle of aging. It begins innocently enough, finding excuses not to go out to the theater or go see some friends you used to really like hanging out with. It’s just so much easier to curl up on the couch and catch some long forgotten movie or read a good book. That’s a rut that is very easy to fall into and it’s only by a stroke of sheer luck that fate volunteers3came along and saved me from becoming a total couch potato!

By sheer chance I found out through a friend of mine about a program that consisted of  playing music at the bedside in hospital settings for healing purposes and he suggested I take a look at it. While graduation offers some paid positions there are plenty of volunteer opportunities as well, and it didn’t sound to me like an insurmountable challenge so I signed up and struggled my way through the program. When you have finally achieved the level where you’re actually allowed to play for patients, the benefits are easy to see. What I didn’t see coming were the benefits and effects that doing this kind of work were going to have on me!

To say it has changed my life is putting it mildly. To be able to lift someone’s spirits or be able to see the smiles on peoples faces because you were able to help a little, or lift them up a little, is truly an inner feeling money cannot buy! I know I’m not talking about a new idea here, I’m just reinforcing what’s already been said about a million times by others and now I’m simply preaching to the choir!

Last week I was in my doctor’s office for my annual physical and was bending my doctors’ ear with my new found philosophy and he listened to me quietly and then spent a good amount of time giving me his affirmative opinion on the topic. He also stressed the point about how many prescriptions for anti-depressants might not get written if more people in their retirement years found a way to volunteer and help. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s a tonic, and once you begin, not only will you be helping others, but you’ll be amazed at the way your world will become a much brighter place!

Don’t spend a whole bunch of time asking yourself, “what can I do?” No matter what you did in your past life, there is literally nowhere you can go where you won’t be able to find an open volunteer position that is something you’ll like and something you’re familiar with. It’s out there, just look around and you’ll find it. Once you try it, I believe you’ll find it’s a life changer!

Send me your comments and critiques. I’ll read them all and use them if I can.

Have a great week everybody.

Rod

 

 

 

 

 

HOW COME ??

Recent events, some polititexasbordertaxical, some not, some relevant, and some just plain stupid, have led me to question how it is that our government which supposedly employs some of the best, brightest, smartest intellect money can buy, leaves you shaking your head in disbelief and asking that same dumbassed question,   “How Come??”

As a for instance, the picture above (with a slightly tongue in cheek title) is one of many armored type vehicles our pentagon has doled out to municipalities all across America. I believe that’s probably a 50 caliber machine gun mounted up top and you can probably fix them up with enough fire power to take out a tank if you wanted to. As you probably saw on the 5:00 o’clock news recently, one even showed up in Ferguson Missouri to help control those pesky high schoolers who were protesting the cop shooting of Michael Brown. Roger Goodell might want to think about getting his hands on one of these bad boys just in case things get any worse at the NFL and he’s in need of a little emergency transportation!

Some of my “How Come” questions go like this;

How come we can give out armored vehicles like these to every municipality in the USA, no matter what the size or the need, and yet we can’t seem to figure out a way to prevent some weirdo from jumping the fence in front of the White House in Washington DC? We’ve got arguably the most important family in our country living there, and I have no doubt the Secret Service could get their hands on a few of these to put out front if they felt it was necessary, but no sir, their attitude seems to be, “We’ve got this presidential security thing figured out!” “Go away and shut up!”

clowns_in_congress_453585How come the United States Congress which currently carries the lowest approval ratings of any congress in the history of the USA, along with it’s leader, Speaker John Boehner, is currently suing the President of the USA for overstepping his powers of office? This is the same congress that has passed fewer bills than any congress in history, returned from their five week “recess” for a few minutes, voted to approve a “Defense Authorization” bill, and hit the exits five minutes later to run home and spin their story in an effort to get re-elected? We’re spending approximately 55 million per year on a “do nothing” congress.  How come we need ’em at all?

10537735_665890526837338_9149993080934533626_nHow come the big oil companies producing all those “fracking” TV commercials always show us a young Mom and her kids, in a nice suburban setting, sometimes carrying a nice clean glass of drinking water, still wont reveal to us what all those chemicals really are that they’re forcing into the ground to mix with our water? I suppose these young ladies are actresses simply playing a role rather than real Moms, because real Moms would be a hell of a lot more concerned about the purity of the water they are drinking and the effect that drinking water is having on those little kids they have running around underfoot. It might sound dumb but I believe it’s cynical and cruel for oil companies to be pushing that kind of commercial off on unsuspecting people who don’t know any better!

How come no one has designed a baseball cap with the bill on the back instead of the front so when you want to go out and look cool and put your hat on backwards, now it will actually be forwards and so you’ll look like you’re actually going toward something instead of coming from something? I’m so confused!

How come Sarah Palin knows so much about those awful people we have living at the White House currently, and yet she still doesn’t seem to know what the correct address of the White House is? It’s 1600 not 1400 Sarah. If you can’t figure it out, go talk to that guy who jumped the fence. He already knows where it is!

How come Cliven Bundy owes the government a million bucks for stealing government grass for twenty years to feed his cattle and yet he still isn’t in jail? Do you think he knows his cows are on welfare?

How come this beautiful Indian Summer we’re having can’t last all year long??

Please send your critiques and comments. I’ll be sure to read them all and use them if I can.

Have a great week everybody.

Rod