In the past few days, our country, and I must admit, myself personally have had things revealed to us that I previously might not have envisioned. The first is a story by one of New York’s most preeminent writers, Maureen Dowd, who made the long pilgrimage out here to Denver not to sample the skiing, but the other product we’re now famous for. That would be recreational marijuana.
After arriving in Denver, Miss Dowd checked into a motel (or hotel) and met someone who took her to one of our many marijuana outlets. As I understand it, she purchased a marijuana laced chocolate bar and went on about her business. When she got back to where she was staying, Maureen then made the mistake that all rookies seem to make, and that is if one bite tastes good, two is better, and if I’m not mistaken, she went on to eat the whole thing!
The rest, you can look up on Google. Whether she meant it to be or not, her recount of her first day as a Colorado Pothead is probably the funniest thing she’s ever written! I only want to say on behalf of every other Colorado Pothead who’s done exactly the same thing; Welcome to the Club Maureen! We’re happy you could join us! Next time you decide to sample the local wares, bring it over to my house and I’ll be happy to help you interpret the directions. There’s really only one other thing to remember, after the first couple of bites, if you get the munchies, THE COUCH IS MINE!
The other story that really caught my attention this week, was the way the war hawks are screaming about the way President Obama ended our war activity in Iraq and the developments since then. First, we must remember the two prominent tribes in Iraq, (at least the two major ones who really hate each other) were kept in line for years by a brutal despot named Saddam Hussein. A few years ago the two guys in charge of our country (one who avoided military service with his five deferments and the other whose military career consisted of hiding behind daddy’s coattails,) decided Hussein was a problem with far too much oil under his greasy fingertips. A story about “Weapons of Mass Destruction,” was cooked up and fed to the public, and the rest as they say, is history.
Once Hussein was gone, it was only a question of time (and circumstance) before those two warring tribes came together, rekindled their hatred which goes back hundreds of years and, began killing each other again. The war hawks in our country who don’t trust our President anyway, want to go back over there and jump in. The only problem is, after spending two trillion dollars, killing over 4,000 of our kids, and permanently wounding hundreds of thousands of others mentally and physically, there is no appetite for it. Chief among the war hawks is Senator McCain who I have previously referred to as Mr. Magoo. His number one problem is, where’s he going to get an army? Well… here’s my solution to his guns and manpower problem. Remember, you heard it here on AAS first!
What Magoo (McCain) needs to do, is round up about a million NRA members who get off on strutting around, showing off their assault weapons and flashing their extended magazines. Since they don’t need any more guns, all they have to do is dress up in the uniforms thrown on the ground by the Shiite guys who thought they were bad and found out they weren’t! The Koch brothers can finance everything, and Magoo gets his chance to show Obama how you really git ‘er done! The War Hawks will be ecstatic, the NRA gets it’s reward, Obama can actually get to work on global warming, and the rest of us can all say Amen! Case closed.
Please send me your comments and critiques. I’ll read them all and if I can use them, I surely will.